It’s too stinking hard

In the first few weeks of my new life a young woman asked me to coach her through a similar struggle as I’d experienced, saying she “wanted what I had”.  She told me the courage she saw in me motivated her.  She said my commitment to doing what it takes to have a changed life inspired her and the steps I was taking to have an authentic experience with my Higher Power made her want to know more about Who He was. I felt insecure about helping her since it was all so new to me but upon the advice of my own sponsor Susan, I decided to give it a try and gingerly accepted her invitation.  I told her if she wanted what I had she would need to do what I did and she agreed.  For weeks and often for hours on end I met with her one-on-one,  patiently listening to her pain and offering the same tools I’d been given.  I took her to meetings, dried her eyes, prayed with her, and generally stopped at nothing as I poured into her life.

After a short while, she started drinking again.  Further, she gave the middle finger to the investment I was making in her and all the progress she’d made and never looked back.  I was floored.  What had I done wrong?  Did my enthusiasm to help her have the opposite effect and chase her away?  Or was I too soft?  What happened??

When I shared my dismay with Susan, she told me something I didn’t expect to hear.  She said it didn’t have anything to do with me, but said the reality is- most people don’t want it.  What?  How could that be?  How could anyone NOT want to sleep soundly knowing they’d been truthful in everything?  How could anyone NOT want the peace that begins to flow into relationships as one by one we make things right with those we have hurt?  How could anyone NOT want to stop looking into life’s rearview mirror as each new mile traveled is honest now?  How could anyone NOT want the freedom that comes with being naked before God and feel no shame?  How could anyone NOT want to stop arm wrestling with what they knew to be good and right and true?  I had drunk the KoolAid, saw how amazingly improved my life could be, and just assumed everyone wanted it too.

Over time I began to understand what Susan meant as I watched many I loved or admired seemingly satisfied with “close enough”.  I watched churches split over power struggles, single Christians get impatient, and the need to be right destroy relationships on all levels.  I watched drinking get out of control in the life of influencers, anger go unchecked, and the perceived “right to happiness” blow marriages apart.  Earlier in my life, I had done a lot of the same kind of stuff; professing faith in God but then making choices that would belie such belief if I thought it’d suit me. It’s one thing to say “I believe”, but to live it?  Ouch.  I couldn’t help but wonder how different it might’ve been if someone had just grabbed me by the shoulders in those days and asked “what are you DOING?”

So… what is it with us?  Why aren’t we willing to do what it takes to have a rich life on every level?  Why do we allow low-living to steal from us what God has to offer?

You know what I think?  Sorry to be blunt, but when it really comes down to it, it’s just too stinking hard.  That’s right.  It takes a lot to swallow our pride as we listen to counsel and apply it to our life.  It takes GUTS to shut up, share the credit, be tolerant with others, tell the truth, stop whining, return the money, admit we’re wrong, serve with no recognition, say we’re sorry, and really make things right.  It costs us a whole lot and too often, we just don’t want to pay up.

I don’t know what you believe, but I believe the reason Jesus went through all the drama of coming to this earth as He did was because He wanted us to have it all.  Think about it: He lived as a man, was criticized and tortured and ultimately killed by a passel of religious leaders who were ticked that He’d pulled focus from their legalism. He then rose up from the dead (He was also still God, you know) and a month or so later returned to heaven where He tells us He’s preparing our eternal home for our arrival.  The whole point was that He came to give us a shot at a life that is marked by great plenty1, no matter how much or how little we have.

So what stops us from jumping in the deep end… from biting into the juiciest part of the apple… from living and being all God made us to be, even if it costs us a boatload to do it?   What would it take for us to muster up the GUTS to, as my buddy Danna says, do the right thing for the right reason, and trust God with the outcome?

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; but I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:10 NASB

 

Sylvia is a singer and Christian women’s speaker, and lives in Southern California.

Read Sylvia’s other posts, and LIKE her on Facebook!

1“Abundant”: www.Merriam-Webster.com

57 thoughts on “It’s too stinking hard”

  1. A lot of thanks for all of the hard work on this web page. Ellie loves participating in internet research and it’s really obvious why. We know all of the powerful method you offer good guidance by means of this web site and welcome response from other people on that point then our favorite daughter is certainly discovering so much. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You are always doing a good job.

  2. I precisely had to thank you so much all over again. I am not sure the things I might have worked on in the absence of the actual recommendations shared by you relating to my theme. Completely was a real hard situation in my circumstances, nevertheless spending time with a skilled technique you solved it took me to weep for happiness. Now i’m thankful for the advice as well as pray you are aware of a great job you are accomplishing training many people through the use of your webpage. Most probably you haven’t got to know all of us.

  3. I simply wished to appreciate you once again. I’m not certain the things I would’ve carried out without the actual hints provided by you regarding this theme. It became a real troublesome scenario in my position, however , considering the skilled style you managed that took me to cry with gladness. Extremely grateful for your help as well as sincerely hope you realize what a great job that you are providing teaching most people thru your webblog. More than likely you have never encountered any of us.

  4. My spouse and i got absolutely cheerful that Michael could finish off his inquiry out of the precious recommendations he grabbed in your blog. It’s not at all simplistic to just choose to be giving for free guides that other people may have been making money from. We realize we have got you to be grateful to for that. The explanations you’ve made, the straightforward web site menu, the friendships you can make it possible to create – it is all remarkable, and it’s really letting our son in addition to us do think the idea is interesting, which is certainly exceedingly fundamental. Thanks for all the pieces!

  5. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive learn something like this before. So good to find any individual with some authentic thoughts on this subject. realy thank you for starting this up. this website is one thing that is wanted on the internet, somebody with a bit of originality. useful job for bringing one thing new to the web!

  6. I intended to create you a tiny remark to say thanks a lot again on the remarkable techniques you’ve shared at this time. This is really open-handed of you to provide without restraint just what many individuals could possibly have supplied as an e book to get some dough on their own, even more so since you might have tried it if you decided. These strategies as well acted to be a good way to recognize that other individuals have the identical fervor like mine to grasp much more with regards to this matter. I’m certain there are some more enjoyable occasions ahead for many who discover your website.

  7. I enjoy you because of your entire work on this web page. Kim take interest in carrying out research and it is simple to grasp why. Almost all hear all regarding the powerful mode you convey informative guidance on the web site and in addition foster contribution from other ones on this matter while my daughter is undoubtedly starting to learn so much. Have fun with the remaining portion of the year. You are always performing a terrific job.

  8. I wanted to create you a tiny observation to be able to give thanks the moment again just for the remarkable suggestions you’ve contributed on this page. It’s simply particularly open-handed of people like you to give openly exactly what a lot of folks might have distributed as an electronic book to make some money for themselves, precisely seeing that you might have tried it if you ever desired. The points as well served as a fantastic way to be aware that someone else have the same dreams the same as my personal own to know the truth significantly more with reference to this matter. I’m certain there are millions of more enjoyable sessions up front for folks who read through your website.

  9. My wife and i have been really excited Peter managed to round up his preliminary research from your ideas he acquired from your own web site. It’s not at all simplistic to just find yourself releasing steps that many most people might have been making money from. Therefore we discover we have you to thank because of that. The specific explanations you made, the straightforward web site navigation, the friendships you can make it easier to instill – it’s got many incredible, and it’s really leading our son and the family imagine that this article is cool, which is seriously essential. Thank you for everything!

  10. Thank you a lot for providing individuals with an extraordinarily special chance to read from this website. It really is so ideal and as well , full of fun for me personally and my office co-workers to visit your website at the least thrice per week to see the newest tips you have got. Not to mention, I am always satisfied with your good pointers served by you. Some two facts in this posting are honestly the most efficient we have had.

  11. I am writing to let you be aware of what a useful discovery our girl undergone browsing your web site. She mastered so many pieces, which include what it’s like to possess an excellent teaching heart to let certain people just learn about chosen advanced things. You undoubtedly exceeded our desires. I appreciate you for displaying these practical, trustworthy, revealing not to mention easy guidance on the topic to Tanya.

  12. I happen to be writing to make you know of the brilliant encounter my wife’s daughter encountered going through your web site. She discovered a good number of pieces, most notably what it is like to possess a wonderful coaching mindset to get men and women quite simply know just exactly chosen extremely tough matters. You truly surpassed my expected results. Many thanks for distributing these effective, dependable, edifying and even easy tips on the topic to Tanya.

  13. Thanks a lot for providing individuals with remarkably superb possiblity to read from this web site. It is often very nice and also full of fun for me personally and my office mates to visit the blog the equivalent of 3 times in 7 days to study the newest guidance you have. And indeed, we’re always contented considering the extraordinary inspiring ideas you give. Selected 1 points in this post are definitely the most effective I’ve had.

  14. I really wanted to compose a simple remark to be able to appreciate you for all the fantastic tips you are sharing at this website. My time-consuming internet investigation has finally been honored with useful strategies to share with my colleagues. I ‘d tell you that most of us visitors are undeniably endowed to be in a great site with many brilliant professionals with great opinions. I feel extremely happy to have encountered your web pages and look forward to some more pleasurable minutes reading here. Thanks again for a lot of things.

  15. My spouse and i were fortunate when Edward managed to finish up his studies because of the ideas he was given from your web site. It is now and again perplexing to just happen to be giving freely concepts which usually some other people might have been selling. Therefore we take into account we need the blog owner to thank because of that. Those illustrations you’ve made, the easy site navigation, the friendships you can help promote – it’s got most amazing, and it is assisting our son in addition to us reason why that concept is brilliant, which is certainly extremely important. Thank you for all the pieces!

  16. Thanks for every one of your efforts on this website. My mother enjoys going through investigation and it is easy to see why. We all learn all relating to the compelling way you present good tips and hints through this website and as well foster contribution from some others on that issue and my girl is now studying so much. Enjoy the remaining portion of the year. You’re the one conducting a very good job.

  17. I抎 need to test with you here. Which isn’t something I usually do! I get pleasure from studying a submit that will make people think. Also, thanks for permitting me to remark!

  18. My wife and i got so contented that Albert managed to round up his research out of the ideas he discovered when using the web page. It’s not at all simplistic just to possibly be handing out guidance which usually other people might have been trying to sell. And we figure out we need the writer to be grateful to for that. These explanations you’ve made, the straightforward website menu, the friendships your site give support to foster – it’s got many astounding, and it’s helping our son and our family consider that that content is awesome, and that is unbelievably serious. Thank you for the whole lot!

  19. Needed to put you one little bit of remark to help give thanks once again about the incredible views you’ve discussed on this website. It has been really seriously open-handed with you to grant unhampered exactly what some people would’ve distributed for an electronic book in order to make some money for their own end, chiefly considering that you might well have done it in the event you decided. The techniques in addition served as a fantastic way to know that the rest have a similar passion just as my own to learn lots more concerning this matter. I am sure there are lots of more fun periods in the future for those who scan through your website.

  20. I precisely desired to say thanks again. I am not sure the things that I would have used without those tactics shared by you on such a question. Certainly was a real daunting issue in my view, nevertheless discovering a specialized approach you handled that forced me to weep over fulfillment. I’m just happy for this support and even pray you are aware of a great job you are always providing teaching many others through the use of your web site. Most likely you have never got to know all of us.

  21. A lot of thanks for your entire efforts on this website. Gloria delights in carrying out internet research and it’s really obvious why. Many of us hear all relating to the lively manner you present rewarding tricks by means of the blog and as well inspire participation from other people on the article while our daughter is now studying a whole lot. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the year. Your conducting a glorious job.

  22. I’m also commenting to let you be aware of of the outstanding encounter my friend’s child undergone visiting your site. She picked up some things, not to mention how it is like to have an amazing giving character to let the rest clearly fully grasp several problematic topics. You undoubtedly surpassed our expectations. Thank you for displaying these good, safe, educational not to mention fun tips about the topic to Tanya.

  23. I wanted to write you this tiny observation to thank you again for your personal magnificent views you’ve shared on this page. It was certainly strangely open-handed of you to provide freely what a few individuals could possibly have advertised as an electronic book to get some profit for their own end, principally seeing that you might well have done it in case you decided. Those principles as well served to provide a fantastic way to comprehend other people have a similar keenness similar to my own to know the truth somewhat more regarding this issue. I think there are some more fun opportunities in the future for many who view your site.

  24. I’m typically to running a blog and i really admire your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your web site and keep checking for brand new information.

  25. Thanks a lot for giving everyone such a remarkable chance to read from this blog. It really is so cool and also jam-packed with amusement for me personally and my office mates to visit your website at the very least thrice weekly to find out the newest things you will have. Not to mention, I am also usually contented with all the brilliant suggestions served by you. Certain 2 ideas in this post are particularly the most effective I’ve had.

  26. I simply wanted to thank you very much again. I do not know the things I would have followed without these methods documented by you relating to my question. It had been a intimidating dilemma for me personally, but understanding a professional way you resolved it took me to cry for contentment. I’m just happy for your support as well as pray you find out what a powerful job you are always doing educating the mediocre ones all through a blog. Most probably you’ve never encountered any of us.

  27. I wanted to draft you one little bit of remark to help thank you very much once again just for the pleasant thoughts you have featured on this site. This has been wonderfully open-handed with you to grant unhampered what many people could have made available for an e-book to get some bucks for themselves, particularly considering that you might well have tried it if you ever decided. The pointers additionally acted to become a good way to comprehend other individuals have the identical desire like my very own to know a little more related to this problem. Certainly there are some more enjoyable instances ahead for those who see your site.

  28. Thank you for all of the efforts on this site. My daughter really loves carrying out research and it’s really obvious why. My partner and i hear all regarding the dynamic ways you create both useful and interesting suggestions via the web blog and even strongly encourage contribution from the others on this theme and our simple princess is actually becoming educated a whole lot. Have fun with the rest of the new year. You are always performing a tremendous job.

  29. My wife and i ended up being now fulfilled that Chris could round up his reports via the precious recommendations he discovered from your web site. It’s not at all simplistic just to possibly be freely giving strategies which usually people have been selling. And now we acknowledge we have got the writer to appreciate for that. Most of the explanations you have made, the easy website menu, the friendships you make it possible to engender – it is all spectacular, and it is letting our son in addition to our family consider that this issue is pleasurable, and that’s tremendously mandatory. Thank you for the whole thing!

  30. Can I just say what a reduction to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know find out how to convey a difficulty to light and make it important. More people need to learn this and perceive this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more standard because you undoubtedly have the gift.

  31. I want to get across my admiration for your kindness giving support to persons that must have assistance with this area of interest. Your real dedication to passing the solution throughout appears to be quite useful and have usually permitted regular people like me to realize their targets. Your amazing informative instruction can mean this much to me and much more to my peers. With thanks; from all of us.

  32. I have to voice my respect for your kindness giving support to those people that have the need for assistance with in this situation. Your real commitment to getting the solution all around had become extremely significant and have consistently permitted workers like me to get to their desired goals. Your warm and friendly report means much a person like me and further more to my office colleagues. Regards; from each one of us.

  33. I don’t know if I’d blame the effort of walking straight in the path of righteousness as being ‘too hard’. I’d be more tempted to blame it on today’s society of ‘wanting everything now’ and as you said, “The right to happiness”. People are brainwashed by movies where a unhappily married couple is ‘relieved’ when their spouse finds someone new or where the geeky boy always gets the hot model girlfriend because he’s funny. That’s not how life is. Life is hard period. And people need to realize that it’s not all about their own happiness. It’s about community and sharing with others so that all can benefit. It’s about living simply so that others may simply live.
    As usual, I appreciate your posts. They really get to the root and make me think. Thank you.

  34. I’ve been partnered up with God for a long time now. At first, it was “too stinking hard” but I was too stinking scared that if I didn’t stick with it, I would wind up back where I was. So all these years later, my prayer is easy: “God, please show me how to live my life in such a way that when I cross your mind, you just spontaneously smile”. Big order? Puullleeeze. So what? Extravagant? Maybe. Sincere? To the bone.

    1. Well said. Things that require effort produces\ great results if we stick with them. No pain, no gain? I think so.

  35. Fear. Fear of change. Fear of failing. Fear of discomfort. Fear of the unknown–even when we know the “unknown” is far better. We can still fear it. Taking the plunge, or as you said, “drinking the Kool Aid” is scary. But worth it!

  36. It Is Hard, and that translates into Pain and I spent so much of my life running from pain…and then I drank that amazing koolaid. I’ve given up running now, thank you Jesus. Love Anne’s comments, great blog Sylvia, you put it all into words so well, thank you.

  37. Oh Aunt Syl. I love this. As a kid, I idolized you. Not intentionally, but the way a person does when they meet someone who has all the answers, and who dresses cool, and who takes them to the Shamu show, and is comfortable enough with themselves to burp and laugh. I love seeing your openness and your wrestling with not having all the answers. And your wrestling with the honest human nature everyone has, even those who say they know God. Walking it takes so much more sacrifice and CLINGING to the truth than just saying it. I’m just sayin. 😉 This blog is a good idea. Thanks for sharing!

  38. Oooh I love this!! It is frickin hard esp for us control freaks, peace at all costs just doesn’t work. Have to give it all, so that gaze in the rear view mirror is not filled w things riding up on your bumper. Those monkeys on your back. By the way I love the song you sing about that.

  39. So true. Most of us want the “results” without the work. God doesn’t work that way. Terrific words of wisdom.

  40. Sylvia, You are right or she was right. “it is too stinking hard” BUT without Christ guiding us down the road of life it is much stinkier and much harder. I have tried both ways and wouldn’t get up out of bed in the morning if Jesus was not there with me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.