I drank the KoolAid.

13 years and 12 days ago, I did it. I took a huge gulp.  Up to that point, I’d never touched the stuff because it was cheap and so, well, uncool.  Oh sure, I’d pour myself some every week, making sure the right people saw me holding the glass but I never actually drank it.

The thing is though, I was always thirsty.  Pretty stupid, really, because I had my very own jug of that sugary drink complete with an easy-pour spout but I could never bring myself to actually take a sip.

Until early that warm August morning.

I was kind of desperate, really. I’d been walking in a desert for years and at that point seemed to be running out of asphalt ahead. I had many things one could want- a great job, fat salary, a beautiful home- but not one thing my heart longed for. I was dry.  Absolutely parched.  And worse, I had become a person I despised; a fake. A bonafide poser.

I hated myself. I cared so much about what people thought of me that I’d become anything they wanted if I could gain some mileage. Such a fraud. I knew I had become a hypocrite, spitting in God’s face for years while dressed up in my white Cathy Christian best. I can’t explain it but after years of having looked at that gleaming faucet, that morning I decided I was sick of it all and just simply took a sip. It was so amazing I had to have another. Before I could stop myself I wrapped my lips around the spigot and took a big gulp straight out of the tap. I suddenly realized I was right in front of Him with that STUFF oozing down my chin.  I had to have looked hideous but I just didn’t give a rip.  And Him? He didn’t seem to notice my pink-stained blouse and instead said something that rocked my world. Instead of pointing out my ugliness He told me I was perfect because He said He saw me through His Son.  And then He told me He loved me. God, Who created the world and everything in it, said He loved ME… and just wanted me to come home.  And in that moment- for the first time in my life- I believed Him. And I did.

Yeah, I drank the KoolAid that morning.  The stuff anyone has access to and can afford. And I don’t care what anyone thinks about my beverage choice except the One who has quenched my thirst.

Makes me wonder: why do we avoid something that could make our lives so much richer?  What are we afraid of?

“Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow.” Isaiah 1:18


Sylvia is a singer and Christian women’s speaker, and lives in Southern California.

Read Sylvia’s other posts, and LIKE her on Facebook!

76 thoughts on “I drank the KoolAid.”

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  29. My three rules –
    One – “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” – Galileo Galilei
    Two – “You know, I may not always make the right moves… but they’re always the best!” – Me!
    Three – “Bad decisions make good stories” (or, in your case, ‘tunes!!) – unknown

  30. Sylvia, your CDs have pour cool waters on a thirsty soul. Not a day goes by but that I play them everywhere I go in the car. Keep up the good work. Well done, God’s good and faithful servant.

  31. Dear Sylvia,
    I saw you singing at worship time in San Diego
    Arise Cry Out Moms in Touch Int. Moms in Prayer
    as a new name now.
    I live in Chile now and I have to tell you that
    I play your cd “Can You hear me?” all the time.
    Is the most inspiring way to “pray singing”
    thank you! My gymnastic instructor fell in love
    with it and I had the opportunity to talk about
    salvation and the Word of God that you so
    beautifully put together.
    May God continue to bless you

    1. Dearest Teresa,
      So nice to hear from you. And I’m happy God could use the music to help you talk to your gymnastics instructor about Him. Thank you for subscribing to this blog… and for telling your friends! God bless you, sister.

  32. Here is a woman who has been there and back, and is not afraid to go there with you. I love you with all of my heart. For those of you who think what she has to say is inspirational, try what she has to sing. Nothing like hearing this TRUTH reverberating through your car every day. Buy “Not So Far Away”, play it every day, and your life will be changed. Thank you, Sylvia for laying your life down that others might live, in Him.

  33. Thank you Sylvia for sharing your heart! You get more beautiful, inside and out, every time I see you! Blessings in this new part of your ministry!!

  34. I have heard you sing, and tell your story. You have people coming back for more of you. Looking forward to reading about your life anecdotes, funny moments, and times when life isn’t so perfect. Keep it up!!

  35. Good stuff my friend. I love being a “Kool Aid” mom! And having the refreshing drink quench my thirst too. Kool aid Kool aid tastes great…wish I had some, can’t wait! Oh yeah… I do! You have a gift…keep sharing. xoxoxo

  36. Sylvia! the blog world was in need of your presence. So glad to find you here, my friend, and I’m looking forward to reading what comes across that amazing heart and mind of yours.


    1. Thanks for your encouragement, Julie. From such a prolific writer and speaker as you are, that’s a huge compliment. Thank you!

  37. Sylvia, you are so real, yet use such great “word pictures” to tell your God Stories! I’m subscribing to your blog :o)

    1. Thanks so much, Kathy. And to all of you who have subscribed so far. I’ll look forward to hearing your thoughts and reactions in the future!

  38. Sylvia, you are inspiring! I love the creativity of your written testimony, but even more, I love seeing you live it!

  39. I love it every time you come to the Grove. You are a beautiful person inside and out and your message through your music always touches my heart!

  40. KoolAid to describe Jesus? Interesting choice of a metaphor. You’re quite clever with words and I only hope people “get” you as this looks like a new blog. I like it and wish you well.

  41. Praise God for your unabashed and very real transformation, only He can do that! You make me thirsty, Sylvia! Thanks for being so honest and ready to tell what God has done in you, it’s infectious!

  42. I loved hearing your story at PWF. (Professional Women’s Fellowship) Thank you for sharing. As a new Christian…I’m still finding my way and you touched on so many things that I had felt in the past. I always thought I was the only one who felt that way.

    1. Amy! Well, you sure aren’t the only one. More of us feel insecure about things we don’t want people to know about than you think. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves “what’s the worst thing that could happen if they did?” I think we find we’re in good company and in a position to support one another. So here’s to walking the path together!

  43. We were blessed beyond words when we had you sing and speak at our outreach Women’s Christmas Event. The enormous talent you have and the inspirational honesty about the Lord, His love for you and your journey with Him, reaches into the heart of every person who has the delightful experience of receiving from you. Now I look forward with anticipation and excitement as you prepare to come and share at our Women’s retreat.

    1. Sumer, thank you! And I can’t wait for retreat either. Should be a rocking weekend, especially with Judy Hampton as the speaker!

  44. Sylvia you have not only taken the gulp, the most refreshing drink ever, but you have bottled it and have shared the it with many. What a drink you have offered….better than KoolAide.

  45. It is hard to surrender to what we can’t see/taste/touch in the physical world as we know, but when God shows us the many ways we CAN see, taste and touch Him it is amazing. Thank you for being real with us. I like how you used “Koolaid” because it indeed represents so many things. Those things don’t even need to be named because we know what they are and they all just pull us away. They all make us “feel” like we can somehow control and fix our own lives!

  46. I think we’re afraid of any “uncharted waters”. Sad but true. I don’t want to be afraid anymore though. I look forward to hearing more of what you have to say.

    1. Hi Marfay– thank you for your vulnerability, even in those few words. I think life is too short for us not to grab all that God has for us. In a future post I’ll be talking about seizing the opportunity God has given us to have the richest life EVER, no matter our circumstances. I’ll look forward to hearing more of your perspectives and reactions as time goes on. Be well!

  47. I am a great fan of your music and was told to come to your blog. You got me hooked from the first moment on. Great job!! You are passionate and gifted and I love your thirst for the Lord.
    Keep that spigot open

    Cesar L

    1. Hi Cesar– great to hear from you. I appreciate your encouragement and hope you’ll weigh in from time to time on future posts!

  48. WOW, what a story. What an opportunity to point others to the Christ who has made your life new and fruitful for His glory.

  49. Your words gave me ‘goosies’ 🙂 I just love the visual that is inspired by your words. I love the new site too. Awesome! Sylvia, your testimony is inspiring because it is so real. Can’t wait to talk to you again soon!

    1. Thank you Cindi. I appreciate your kind words and hope you will follow subsequent posts. God bless you!

  50. My friend was telling me about your music and I stumbled upon your blog. Great job on both. I think we all need that kind of reminder that someone so infinite and strong loves us, and holds us in His hands. Awesome post…keep it up!

  51. O the deep, deep love of Jesus and His ruthless pursuit of all of us. Sylvia was seeking satisfaction from the things of this world but she found herself parched and thirsty.

    Sylvia’s testimony reminds me of the story of the woman at the well in John Chapter 4 of the Bible. Jesus is speaking to a woman who was seeking things that did not satisfy and they left her empty and thirsty. Jesus offered her a drink of Living Water from His well that never runs dry. Like that woman long ago, Sylvia stepped out in faith, took a sip of His water and instantly found what she’d been looking for all her life. She became a new creation In Christ.

    I love Sylvia’s passion to offer audiences, through the beauty of her giftedness and music, an opportunity to drink from His well. Her story is one of new beginnings and a transformed life.

  52. What a cool way to express your journey toward God. It’s so raw to imagine drinking out of a spigot like a little kid with red stains all over your face. Guess that’s how He wants us to come to Him. Good stuff.

  53. I googled something entirely unrelated and came upon this. At first I couldn’t figure out what you were talking about but then I got it. Wow. Why haven’t I heard of you before? This is really good and allot to think about.I don’t see how to subscribe to thisblog though. ?

    1. Tabitha…glad you found Sylvia’s blog….she’s the real deal! Go back to her home page and you will see the subscribe opportunity on the right.

    2. Hi Tabitha, so glad we found you through such a happy accident. I love it when that happens. Regarding the subscribing thing– we’ve been working out some bugs this week and hope this is getting solved. But it looks like you did subscribe, so yay! I look forward to hearing from you in the future– God bless you!

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