Cavity prone

I have never been a huge fan of sugary things.  Pie or cake? Nah. Chocolate? Meh.  With the exception of gummi bears, I can pretty much take it or leave it.  But I have learned that I can’t live without a certain kind of sweet.

One morning after I had spoken at a women’s event, a young woman came up to me at my CD table.  She introduced herself and said she had a question for me after hearing my story.

“You seem so content that you never got to be a mom”, she said. And then asked “Are you content?”

I had to stop for a second and think. Was I indeed… content?

Here’s the thing: I had always wanted to be a mom.  From as far back as I could remember I wanted it more than anything.

I had been a focused businesswoman up through my forties and hadn’t married until I was 41.  And with a new husband 11 years my senior, it became clear to me that having a child together was not the right path for us.  So although my dream of finding my lifelong partner was exceeded beyond my wildest dreams, the dream of ever having a child… died.

I’m not going to lie.  Waiting all those years to find God’s man for me was tough but this… this was a bitter pill to swallow.

But 14 years ago, disguised as a personal crisis, God gave me a shot at a “do over”.  Doggone it if He didn’t let me start my life all over again when He gave me the chance to get out of myself, grow up and grow deep with Him, and I grabbed it with gusto.  He began maturing me in all areas of my life, showing me in spades that He had my back and wanted me to experience all that life had to offer.  I dug deep into His Word to learn more what that meant and realized one day that I had given in, had completely accepted what He had for me, and had developed a desire to want what He wanted for my life.

It just didn’t appear that having a child was going to be one of those things.

But here’s the thing. Over time, I began to realize that accepting life on life’s terms left a sweet taste in my mouth… and besides, I learned there are a lot of other ways to be a real mom.  Here are a few I’ve found:

When I married Wolf, an extraordinary stepdaughter came with the deal who I couldn’t love any more than if I’d given birth to her myself.  (Mariah often jokes that it’s a darned good thing I didn’t because if I had, she might’ve gotten my thin hair!)

Wolf and I host young people in our home from all over the world who come here to study English.  In the time they are with us, we are given entrance into their hearts and thoughts as we pour into them, striving to provide as full a cultural, family, and spiritual experience as possible.  Some of the richest times we’ve had in the last few years have been with these kids and I wouldn’t trade the experience of being “Mama Sillye” for anything.

For 13 years, I’ve gotten to be a “co-mom” with moms all over the third world who are unable to take care of their children on their own.   As a result of events at which I and my partner Billye have spoken, over 5,000 moms have fewer worries about their kids’ futures because American “moms” have sponsored their child*.  The mother of a child I sponsor in Africa humbled me to my bones when she thanked me for helping her raise her children. Me??

 Up until very recently, I had the honor of hosting a group of young women in my living room every Tuesday night for five years who still call me their “BFF spiritual mom”.  Each week, I got to guide them through God’s Word where I wanted them to see how sweet their life could be if they could  just develop a taste to want what He wants.  We went through breakups, marriages, cancer, pregnancy, and job woes and they began to see that peace is possible, regardless of our circumstances.

You can’t tell me I haven’t been able to be a mom.

So when that young woman asked me that day if I was content, I had to be honest when I said I was not.  But what I could tell her was that, in all honestly, I was in full agreement with God on His choice for my life.  Today, I get it.  Today I see why He withheld this “dream” of mine and I joyfully accept and embrace the extraordinary life He has given me in exchange.

When life turns out differently than the stuff of our dreams, we have a choice.  We can get bitter, wasting months and years pining for what we didn’t get, or we can begin to recognize there are just simply things we won’t understand on this earth and accept what comes our way, relishing what we DO have.

And with that, taste the delectable calm that accompanies the sweetness of acceptance.

With all your heart trust the Lord and not
your own judgment. Always let
Him lead you, and He will clear the road 
for you to follow.
Proverbs 3:5-6 CEV

*Click here for info on how $1.18/day can help a 3rd-world mom provide a better future for her child .  

Sylvia Lange is a Christian women’s speaker living in Southern California.

See Sylvia’s other posts.

80 thoughts on “Cavity prone”

  1. Everything is very open with a really clear explanation of the issues.
    It was really informative. Your site is extremely helpful.

    Many thanks for sharing!

  2. I in addition to my friends ended up checking out the good key points located on the blog while at once got a terrible feeling I never expressed respect to you for those secrets. All of the men became so happy to learn them and have in effect sincerely been loving them. Thanks for getting simply helpful as well as for having certain fine ideas most people are really eager to learn about. Our own honest regret for not saying thanks to sooner.

  3. I needed to send you that little word to give many thanks as before for your unique thoughts you’ve shown here. It is simply extremely generous with people like you to deliver unhampered what most people would have offered as an ebook to end up making some cash on their own, primarily considering that you might well have tried it if you ever considered necessary. The tactics likewise acted like a fantastic way to understand that many people have the same interest just as my own to see good deal more around this matter. I’m certain there are several more enjoyable sessions in the future for people who look into your blog post.

  4. I really wanted to write a quick comment so as to say thanks to you for the unique strategies you are posting on this website. My time-consuming internet research has finally been recognized with useful know-how to talk about with my partners. I ‘d tell you that most of us visitors are truly endowed to live in a superb site with many perfect people with beneficial techniques. I feel somewhat privileged to have encountered the web pages and look forward to plenty of more exciting moments reading here. Thank you once more for all the details.

  5. I am only writing to let you be aware of of the fantastic discovery our child developed checking your web site. She mastered lots of things, which included how it is like to have an amazing coaching nature to get other individuals really easily know precisely selected hard to do things. You truly did more than people’s expected results. Many thanks for presenting such important, dependable, educational and fun tips about your topic to Evelyn.

  6. I and also my friends were found to be reviewing the good guidelines from your web page while suddenly I got a terrible suspicion I never thanked the web site owner for those techniques. Those young boys were thrilled to read them and have now absolutely been taking pleasure in them. Appreciate your actually being very thoughtful and for going for such wonderful topics millions of individuals are really eager to be informed on. My sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.

  7. I simply had to appreciate you once more. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have followed without the solutions shown by you directly on such a subject matter. Previously it was the fearsome concern in my view, but observing a new expert way you managed it forced me to cry with contentment. I am grateful for your advice and even expect you find out what an amazing job you are always undertaking teaching many people through the use of your web page. Most likely you have never got to know any of us.

  8. I wanted to compose you this little bit of remark in order to give thanks as before relating to the gorgeous suggestions you have featured at this time. It is simply strangely open-handed with you to provide unreservedly precisely what many people would’ve advertised for an e-book to help make some bucks for their own end, precisely considering the fact that you could possibly have done it in the event you wanted. The good ideas as well served like the great way to comprehend the rest have the same dream just like my personal own to know very much more when considering this condition. I know there are several more fun instances ahead for individuals that find out your site.

  9. I just wanted to develop a brief remark in order to say thanks to you for these superb instructions you are writing here. My time-consuming internet research has now been honored with high-quality points to go over with my family members. I would say that most of us visitors actually are quite fortunate to be in a great site with very many awesome people with very helpful tips and hints. I feel really blessed to have used the webpages and look forward to many more fun moments reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.

  10. I wanted to compose you this little bit of remark so as to give many thanks the moment again just for the awesome pointers you’ve provided on this page. It’s really wonderfully generous of you in giving publicly exactly what numerous people would’ve made available as an electronic book to end up making some money on their own, mostly now that you could have done it in case you decided. Those pointers in addition acted to become a good way to fully grasp that many people have the same dream the same as my very own to see a whole lot more on the topic of this condition. I think there are thousands of more pleasurable periods up front for those who browse through your website.

  11. Thanks for all of the hard work on this website. Kim enjoys carrying out internet research and it’s easy to see why. Most of us know all about the lively form you produce very important tips and tricks by means of the web site and even attract contribution from some others on this situation while our daughter has always been studying a lot of things. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the year. Your performing a brilliant job.

  12. I am just commenting to make you be aware of of the helpful encounter my wife’s princess experienced studying yuor web blog. She came to find plenty of pieces, most notably how it is like to possess an incredible giving spirit to let the rest with ease know just exactly a number of impossible subject matter. You actually surpassed my expected results. Thanks for producing those priceless, trustworthy, informative and unique tips on your topic to Jane.

  13. My husband and i ended up being very lucky that Ervin managed to complete his researching through the entire ideas he was given out of the web pages. It is now and again perplexing just to choose to be making a gift of guides some other people could have been selling. Therefore we fully grasp we have the blog owner to thank for this. Most of the explanations you have made, the easy blog navigation, the relationships you will help create – it’s got most extraordinary, and it’s really letting our son and our family know that that issue is satisfying, which is incredibly vital. Thanks for all!

  14. I as well as my guys ended up reading through the great tips and tricks from your website then instantly developed an awful feeling I never thanked the web blog owner for those secrets. These young men came for this reason glad to study all of them and have now in reality been enjoying those things. Thank you for truly being very considerate and also for getting this sort of decent topics most people are really eager to be aware of. My sincere apologies for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.

  15. I want to point out my affection for your kindness in support of those who should have assistance with this subject. Your personal commitment to passing the solution all around had become rather useful and have in most cases made individuals like me to realize their desired goals. Your amazing informative useful information can mean a great deal to me and especially to my peers. Thanks a lot; from all of us.

  16. I truly wanted to write a quick note so as to thank you for all of the fabulous suggestions you are posting on this website. My long internet search has finally been paid with high-quality facts to share with my classmates and friends. I would admit that most of us site visitors actually are undeniably endowed to dwell in a fantastic website with very many awesome professionals with valuable things. I feel very much fortunate to have come across your entire weblog and look forward to plenty of more cool minutes reading here. Thank you once more for a lot of things.

  17. I simply desired to appreciate you once more. I am not sure the things that I would’ve handled in the absence of the actual creative concepts provided by you regarding my topic. Completely was an absolute frightening concern for me, nevertheless understanding the specialized way you dealt with it forced me to leap with contentment. I will be thankful for the help and expect you realize what a powerful job you were undertaking training most people thru a blog. Most probably you’ve never come across any of us.

  18. Thanks a lot for giving everyone an extremely memorable opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this web site. It is often very superb and also stuffed with a great time for me and my office mates to visit your site at minimum 3 times in a week to find out the fresh tips you will have. Not to mention, I am at all times fulfilled with the very good techniques you give. Certain 1 tips in this article are in reality the very best I have had.

  19. Thanks for your own efforts on this site. Ellie enjoys going through research and it’s easy to see why. A lot of people learn all relating to the powerful form you give reliable guides via your web blog and therefore boost participation from some others about this area so our girl is really becoming educated so much. Have fun with the remaining portion of the new year. You are always doing a really great job.

  20. I and also my buddies ended up examining the excellent strategies from your website and then before long got a horrible feeling I had not thanked the site owner for those tips. All the people became thrilled to study them and now have absolutely been tapping into those things. Thanks for simply being so kind and then for utilizing this sort of decent useful guides most people are really eager to discover. My honest apologies for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.

  21. There are some fascinating points in time in this article but I don抰 know if I see all of them heart to heart. There may be some validity however I’ll take hold opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish extra! Added to FeedBurner as effectively

  22. Thank you a lot for giving everyone an extremely terrific possiblity to read critical reviews from this website. It’s usually so useful plus stuffed with fun for me personally and my office mates to visit your blog not less than thrice in one week to read through the fresh items you have got. And lastly, I am at all times impressed with the powerful advice served by you. Selected 2 tips in this post are particularly the most suitable I have had.

  23. I must express my love for your kindness in support of those people that have the need for assistance with your situation. Your real dedication to getting the solution all over came to be amazingly practical and has usually allowed ladies much like me to reach their desired goals. Your amazing warm and helpful instruction implies so much to me and still more to my peers. Many thanks; from everyone of us.

  24. I would like to show some appreciation to this writer just for bailing me out of this condition. After researching through the the web and meeting ideas that were not productive, I believed my life was done. Living minus the approaches to the problems you have fixed through your main site is a serious case, as well as the ones which could have in a wrong way affected my career if I had not noticed your blog. That competence and kindness in playing with the whole lot was important. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t encountered such a stuff like this. I am able to at this moment look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time so much for your reliable and amazing help. I won’t think twice to recommend your web page to any individual who should get recommendations on this subject matter.

  25. I’m commenting to let you understand of the excellent encounter my princess found reading your blog. She even learned many pieces, including what it is like to possess an excellent giving character to have the rest effortlessly know just exactly specific tricky issues. You undoubtedly surpassed readers’ desires. I appreciate you for offering the practical, dependable, educational and also easy tips about that topic to Gloria.

  26. I must convey my passion for your kindness for men and women that absolutely need guidance on that niche. Your personal commitment to passing the message all-around appears to be exceptionally advantageous and have regularly made women much like me to realize their pursuits. Your entire interesting report denotes much a person like me and far more to my mates. With thanks; from everyone of us.

  27. That is the appropriate weblog for anybody who desires to find out about this topic. You notice a lot its nearly laborious to argue with you (not that I actually would need匟aHa). You positively put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  28. I have no Web site, no blog, no published book. I am simply a most ordinary woman who has been with Jesus. I concur with you, dear, that giving up my dreams in exchange for His perfect will is, in fact, a step of surrender that leads me straight into His arms and into deeper intimacy with Him.

  29. I finally had a chance to sit and read this. Love you Syl. Thank you for always being there for me. I am forever grateful for my BFFSDM Xoxo

  30. This one challenged me to be more aware of my acceptance (or lack thereof) of what God has given me in life. I’m so much better than I used to be but there’s always room for improvement! When I look back on my life I can so clearly see God’s handiwork in what was (at the time) devastating circumstances. I’ve learned to be content in the knowledge that God knows what’s next. Sometimes I have remember to “look back” sooner rather than later!

    Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

  31. Love this! That is my life! I couldn’t say it better. God has given me “the desire of my heart”. He just changed my ultimate desire to be His will for my life!

    1. Ain’t that interesting how that happens? I hear once that the definition of “obey” is to be “in alignment”. Isn’t that what we’re talking about here anyway? Thanks for leaving a note!

  32. I posted a note on Facebook but wanted to let you know that I thank you for the wisdom you share with us. After your post on your new love of your SUP, I think of you everytime I go out on mine on Canyon Lake – and that is several times a week you’re getting prayed for.

  33. I couldn’t agree more about the importance of treasuring what we do have. We can grumble and moan and try to understand what’s beyond our understanding, or we can trust our lives and work each day to make them the best they can be. A gratitude journal (or blog!) can be a good practice along this line, I find.

    1. Committing the things we’re grateful for in writing is a great practice. The “discipline of gratitude” my father has always called it!

  34. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic–and for spreading the word about your experiences with World Vision. I live in Washington state so have heard about their good works in the local news and through local fund/supply drives. It’s wonderful that you are forging connections with kids far and near.

  35. As always, your words have a beautiful way of reflecting your wise thoughts about life with such honesty. love, compassion, and hope. Thank you for this article. It came at a good time for me, and I’m certain, for many others as well.

  36. Wow! You are amazing! I remember how wonderfully you described your relationship with your exceptional step-daughter at Hume Lake Women’s Retreat and at the California Women’s Retreat, sharing how grateful you were to have the opportunity to lead her and her friends in a Bible Study class. And tonight, as I read your words, I am once again inspired by your beautifully expressed description of what it truly means to be a “mother”. Thank you!

  37. I think there are a lot of important supportive/guiding roles that we play in the lives of others. Some of my closest family members in my life have been people who aren’t biologically related to me; as a child, my neighbors were a third set of grandparents, and it was a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. 🙂

    1. Thank goodness you posted this link because I was worried that maybe Sylvia hadn’t experienced chocolate covered gummy bears, based on her comments in the first paragraph. 😉 I happened upon them in the bulk foods section of a local store recently, and they are delicious!

  38. How different would this world be if more mature wise people poured their hearts and time into the lives of other people’s kids. Even when blessed to have great parents, who wouldn’t benefit from a surrogate or co-parent as well? Well said, as always. Keep writing.

  39. Sylvia, your dreams were mine! I got my “girls” through marriage to my best friend as well. After going through a miscarriage after invitro with him, I accepted that I would not have a child of my blood but am very thankful for the children of my heart that God did give me. My husband’s twin daughters could not be more mine if I had given birth to them–they even look like me! Thank you for your thoughts and inspiration. I appreciate you more, every blog!

    1. Thank you for those incredibly kind words, Gloria. It sounds like your best friend is blessed to have such a best friend of his own.

  40. I absolutely loved this one. Without a doubt, you are a Mom to so many, I bet there’s even a few that you’re not aware of as well. I’m so proud of the amazing Mom that you are.

  41. Thank you Sylvia for all your blogs filled with great insight and encouragement. I pass them on to many others to enjoy and soak up God’s greatest through you, His humble servant. I bless the day God introduced us to each other in ministry and I am humbled to now be able to call you friend!

  42. This blog hits home more than any other because, like you, my biggest dream from childhood was to be a mom. My heart at times ached with the emptiness of not having children that I could raise and love in a way I was not. Several have helped fill a portion of the gap but a few years ago The Lord brought a young woman into my life that for sure filled the gap to overflowing. She and her wonderful husband became the son and daughter I always wanted. I could not have been happier if I had given birth to them both. God truly has at long last given me the desire of my heart and it has been more than worth waiting for. He indeed gave me beyond what I could ask or think.

  43. Oh, I loved reading this one, thank you for baring your soul and I send you respect and love and admiration for the person you have allowed God to make you into.

    You are soooooo beautiful. Praise to God, you are truly one of His jewels and you shine so brightly, thank you for that.

  44. What’s important for relationship is not necessary blood-relations but our mind; you are exactly my mother for me.

  45. Lovely, Sylvia. As are you, and I am so happy for you. I’ve watched you for many years and love reading this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.